It’s Okay To Be An Introvert

How many times in my life have I sat alone while all around me people are laughing and talking and sharing inside jokes? How many times have I been told, directly or indirectly, how quiet or shy I was? How often have I been in the midst of a social situation just wishing to go home and play some Minecraft, away from the noise and chaos and people? Short answer: a lot.

I’m not a closeted wallflower; I don’t go out of my way to initiate long, intricate conversations with people when I’m just not in that zone. I don’t go to social events with a lot of people (to me, a lot means more than two or three) to prove to the world and myself that I’m chatty and social. I know who I am: an introvert. And I know I’m not alone in my experiences interacting––or choosing not to on a given day––with the world; according to VeryWell Mind, an estimated 25% to 40% of the population are introverts, or have many of the tendencies that categorize one. So, chances are that someone reading this considers themself an introvert too. Great! I’m not alone in my familiar state of being alone. Everything is fine. Some people are social butterflies and some just aren’t. So why does it feel like the world isn’t meant for introverts?

I recently read a book called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Caine, which in part inspired this article. In the book, Caine discusses just that: why it seems society is more interested in constant socialization rather than giving the space some of us need to just be. In fact, we all need some of that space to just be. I know for a fact there’s no chance on Earth that even the most extroverted of extroverts have never had a moment in their lives when they just need a break from everything––to simply exist within themselves. I just wish we as a collective would acknowledge this. Why should introverts have to feel shamed for not feeling up to going out for the night? Why do we act like things such as sporting events or loud, music-is-so-loud-you-can-barely-hear-your-own-thoughts parties are a typical, right-of-passage part of the high school or college experience? Why can’t we normalize spending Saturday evenings reading a book or cuddling with your dog?

So often, introverts are pressured into A. attending an event when they’d rather be by themselves, or B. not attending the event and feeling embarrassed or left out for doing so, even if deep down they know they wouldn’t have enjoyed themselves at said event. Of course, there’s something to say for stepping out of your comfort zone––I do that all the time through supposedly little things like initiating a conversation with someone I don’t know well. In my opinion, it’s good to explore new things you’re not naturally gravitated towards, as it gives you new experiences and can potentially expand your world for the better. However, it shouldn’t be expected of anyone to go somewhere or do something simply because of FOMO. Last time I checked, extroverts aren’t pressured into being alone with their thoughts and introspection when they just want to interact with as many people as possible. It’s different for introverts; we’re pushed, whether by people around us or by society, to “get out there” and socialize, when in reality “getting out there” can cause stress, anxiety, and unease.

How can we normalize introversion in a world that scoffs at it? Should we just accept the belief that extraversion is the “default” way of being and that everyone else is an anomaly who doesn’t know what they’re missing by living in their silly little inner worlds? No! Being an introvert has so much to offer. For one, so many prolific people we look up to and praise today, from artists to musicians to writers, have displayed common qualities of introversion, as solitude can be a crucial ingredient to creativity. It gives us the chance to observe the world from a distance and think about things in unique ways that aren't hindered by others’ perceptions.

We shouldn’t judge anyone by who they inherently are. Whether you’re a party animal or a homebody or someone in between, the way you see the world should be respected and honored. As Caine said in her book, “Everyone shines, given the right lighting.”