Becoming the It Girl—Building a Life of Confidence and Style
Photo credit: Cosmopolitan
The term “It Girl” embodies confidence, effortless style, and a magnetic presence that naturally attracts others. But being an “It Girl” goes beyond fashion trends or a picture-perfect appearance—it’s a mindset, a way of embracing self-assurance, individuality, and a passion for life. Here’s your guide to tapping into your own “It Girl” energy and becoming the best version of yourself.
1. Build Confidence from Within
Being an “It Girl” starts with inner confidence. Confidence doesn’t mean being flawless, it’s about accepting yourself fully and not being afraid to show up as you are. Practice daily affirmations, work on areas of self-doubt, and listen to uplifting music. Remember, people are drawn to someone who is unapologetically themselves.
Set a goal to do one thing each week that takes you out of your comfort zone, whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, trying a new hobby, or meeting new people. Each small step will help build your inner confidence. Personally, attending women’s conferences, networking events, and job fairs has been a great way for me to practice and strengthen my communication skills.
2. Define Your Personal Style
Style is a powerful way to express who you are, but embracing your “It Girl” doesn’t mean following every trend. It’s about curating a look that feels authentically you. Focus on pieces that highlight your personality and make you feel empowered. A true “It Girl” wardrobe should be a mix of classic staples, statement pieces, and a few signature items that set you apart.
Create a mood board of outfits that inspire you. This can help you identify patterns, colors, and styles that resonate with your unique vibe. Apps like Pinterest, TikTok, X (Twitter), and even Canva offer fantastic inspo that helped me design my new vision board. Remember, an “It Girl” feels great in whatever she’s wearing.
3. Prioritize Self-Care and Wellness
Self-care is essential to channeling that radiant “It Girl” energy. When you feel good physically and mentally, it reflects in how you carry yourself. Nourish your body with nutritious food, hydrate, and get regular exercise. Mental well-being is just as important, so find time to rest, meditate, and do activities that make you feel happy and centered.
Dedicate at least one day a week to self-care, whether that means a long bath, a workout class you love, or spending time journaling. This reset will keep you glowing from the inside out.
4. Radiate Positive Energy
The “It Girl” has a magnetic energy that naturally attracts others through genuine positivity and authenticity. Show kindness to those around you, express appreciation, and focus on finding the good in every situation. This doesn’t mean dismissing challenges with forced positivity, but rather approaching them with optimism and resilience.
Start a gratitude journal by listing three things you’re thankful for each day. Over time, this simple practice can help you gain a positive outlook that others will feel and be inspired by. Since I started therapy over the summer, this task has truly transformed my perspective on life and the challenges that come my way.
5. Follow Your Passions with Purpose
“It Girls” are often admired not just for how they look, but for what they do and how they chase their dreams. Find something you’re passionate about and commit to it with purpose. Whether it’s a hobby, a career, or a side project, people are drawn to those who are excited about their lives and ambitions.
If you’re in your early twenties or college-aged, now is the perfect time to try new things! Someone once told me, “You’ll never know what you like until you try it,” and that advice has become my life motto besides YOLO. This is your time to discover what excites you and what doesn’t—and being open-minded is key to that journey.
Take some time to set specific goals around your passions, and create an actionable plan to pursue them, even if it’s just a small step each day. Your enthusiasm and dedication will not only fuel your own growth but will also inspire those around you.
6. Set Boundaries
An “It Girl” knows her worth and isn’t afraid to set boundaries that honor her time, energy, and values. Respect yourself enough to say “no” when you need to protect your mental and emotional health and avoid people who drain your positivity.
Identify one boundary you need to set in your life, whether it’s limiting social media time or asserting yourself in relationships. Setting boundaries will empower you and create a sense of self-respect that shines through. This step is essential to your self-worth and confidence —because we are standing on business over here!
7. Build Meaningful Connections
A true “It Girl” isn’t just a solo act—she values genuine friendships and supportive connections. Seek out relationships with people who inspire and uplift you, and prioritize building a circle of friends who appreciate you for who you are and encourage your growth. If you don’t yet have a support system, consider therapy to work through any blockages that might be holding you back from forming meaningful connections. Positive energy around you strengthens the essence of girlhood.
And if you’re still building that circle, don’t worry. Focus on being your own bestie, and with time, you’ll naturally attract authentic people who resonate with you!
8. Embrace Change and Evolution
The “It Girl” is always growing, learning, and open to new experiences. Embrace change, take risks, and be willing to let go of things that no longer serve you. Evolving is part of the journey to success, and staying adaptable will keep your life exciting and fulfilling.
Choose one new skill or area of interest you’ve always wanted to explore, whether it’s learning a new language, getting a certification, a dance class, or any creative pursuit. Adding layers to your personality will enhance your uniqueness and confidence.
Embracing your inner “It Girl” goes far beyond appearances—it’s about building a lifestyle rooted in self-love, authenticity, and passion.
When you focus on what truly brings you joy, you radiate an energy that’s magnetic. Relish in your power and let the world experience your unique “It Girl” magic! I hope to take my own advice, too, and let my inner light shine for all to see.
