Why Are Dolls So Gendered?

I grew up playing with dolls, of all kinds. Barbies, American Girls, Baby Alives, Monster High, and so on, though Barbies were my favorite. They were an essential part of my childhood, especially as an imaginative homeschooled only child who didn’t get as much daily social interaction as my peers. They were my friends. Does that sound sad? I don’t care, because I’m not sad or ashamed about that fact. They stuck with me through the best and worst times of my life––who cares if they physically had no option of doing otherwise? They fostered my creativity and gave me the chance to explore a world I was too young and inexperienced to explore myself. Through them, I also got a chance to explore my appreciation for the macabre (to all my dolls who suffered at my hands and are physically or mentally scarred, I feel like I should apologize). Long story short, I loved them. I needed them. In a way, they helped to shape me into who I am today.

I know my experience is not an original one, and that many others have grown up to be who they were in part because of their dolls. They provide a wonderful opportunity to be creative without the judgment of the outside world, and to test the boundaries society expects of us. I’ve heard others talk about how, through their dolls, they could explore their identity. No one in Barbieland will bat an eye at a marriage between two Barbies, except perhaps a certain jealous himbo. No one cares if a Ken tries on a skirt, unless the pattern is absolutely offensive. No one doubts Barbie’s ability to become President of the United States or the world if she’s being particularly ambitious. There’s no need for prejudice in Doll Land. Everyone can live how they want to. So why should this experience be deprived of others because of the exact same prejudices that exist in the real world?

We’re taught from an early age that dolls are for girls, not boys. They’re too girly, too feminine––if boys played with dolls, what would happen to the state of masculinity? The state of our world? It would surely be in shambles!

Well, no. 

At the risk of sounding like a Barbie salesperson (I have plenty of issues with the Barbie brand, as we should with all major brands and corporations), I believe a major purpose of playing with dolls is to “exist” in a world without limitations, a world with endless possibilities. How is that inherently feminine? 

Dolls have always been seen as something exclusively for girls. In fact, many of the earliest dolls weren’t even meant for playtime, but to nurture maternal instincts and prepare girls for motherhood. It isn’t just dolls, either––the entire toy industry is highly gendered, and sometimes even outright sexist. The vast majority of action figures are male, made for boys, and the female ones are often sexualized, such as by having large breasts and a highly unrealistic body, which are also made for boys (yes, I know we can talk a lot about how the same applies to Barbie, but bear with me). Pink things are for girls, blue things are for boys. The list goes on. But it’s 2024––you’d think that we’ve evolved past this whole “dolls are for girls” mindset. 

In some ways, we have––it’s certainly less stigmatized than it once was. But it’s still stigmatized by society at large, and that’s unacceptable, not only on their behalf but also on girls’. It’s fueled by the sexist belief that dolls are delicate and dainty in nature and that anyone who plays with them is as well. 

There has been some progress in combating this stereotype. Brands such as Barbie and American Girl have started to sell a greater variety of male dolls, which can help boys see themselves reflected during playtime. It can encourage them to engage with dolls and gain the benefits associated with them that I discussed earlier. However, the problem persists. Boys should feel comfortable playing with female dolls as well as with male ones. They shouldn’t have to shy away from the color pink in favor of more “masculine” neutral tones. They shouldn’t be scared of engaging in traditionally “feminine” playtime that includes traditionally “feminine” aesthetics. And yet, many are. And it’s not their fault. It’s society’s. It’s ours. 

The one thing I ask you, the one thing I’d like you to take away from this? Don’t mock boys who like playing with dolls. Don’t mock boys for engaging in any sort of “feminine” interest that society looks down upon them for. In turn, don’t mock girls’ interests for engaging in traditionally “masculine” activities. This conversation goes both ways. 

As Ken from Barbie (2023) once said, “To be honest, when I found out the patriarchy wasn't about horses, I lost interest anyways.” You should, too.