Redefining Romance: Feeld CEO Ana Kirova on Digital Love, Curiosity, and Connection
Ana Kirova at SXSW 2025.
Earlier this month I attended a SXSW panel titled Fighting Loneliness In Our Digital World. I was ecstatic for this conversation, but more specifically for the panelists; Comedian Alok Vaid-Menon, Mental Health Educator Minaa, and artist and absolute icon Kesha (yes, that Kesha). The entire conversation was put together and moderated by Ana Kirova, the CEO of the open-minded dating app, Feeld. After the panel, which touched on the importance of authenticity, the struggle to find genuine connections, and the bravery that comes from proudly existing as you are, I met up with Kirova for a chat. We spoke all about her app, Feeld, and why representation in romance matters. Enjoy our conversation below!
So you started a dating app called Feeld with the tagline ‘the dating app for the curious’. The app offers romantic options for people interested in threesomes and open relationships or really relationships of any kind. How has the dating landscape evolved since its launch in 2014?
Feeld dashboard.
I think it's definitely opened up a lot. As more and more dating apps came onto the scene, Feeld and other spaces too, there's been a lot more nuance recognized in these spaces. So people have a lot more options to explore and express themselves. Back in 2014, there were some dating apps, some were really big, but there were really a handful. It was at the start of the apps world, whereas now, they're a very intimate part of our lives. I think one of the biggest parts that's evolved is the options and the richness of what people can choose to do.
A thousand percent. I'm a big believer that when you make these niche spaces that allow for specific types of relationships to form, and this kind of ties into the panel, you're actually creating safe spaces for those people to exist and express themselves. Could you talk a bit about creating safe spaces in dating, specifically for women?
We try to use the word “safer” spaces because I think it's really difficult to commit to the idea of a safe space as a platform. And I also think safety is a very personal experience and a very private experience. But we do commit to building safer spaces. One of the most important aspects of it is talking to people. Understanding what people need and what they are afraid of, what they struggle with, what inspires them, what welcomes them.
Feeld’s long and diverse list of identities.
Another part is to design a space in a way that acknowledges parts of the identity that welcome authenticity. This is something we do in Feeld really intentionally with say, the part of the profile that's called Desires. We offer a lot of tags, we have crowdsourced them from the community, but the platform itself shows you words like ENM (ethical non-monogamy), friendship, celibacy.
Oh wow.
We give that as options. So when the platform is designed in a way that sees you, it welcomes you to be authentic and it welcomes people to be authentic. And when one person in your feed shows up authentically, you have like more room to express yourself fully as well. That's how you take the steps towards a safer space. And last but not least, I think who is involved in building it is a very important part. A big part of our team is using Feeld or feels like a part of the community. So they're intimately aware of problems, of challenges, and that makes for some really heated conversations in the best ways where people are really passionate and they put forward their experiences, the experiences of their communities. And that's how we move towards these safer spaces. So it's a dark magic mix of all the three, I think.
I mean, that's incredible. It's so important that, like the panel said, you’re witnessing people, and you are by talking to your audience directly. Speaking of the panel, you were here today as part of a panel called Fighting Loneliness on the Digital World. Which featured some incredible people like comedian Alok Vaid-Menon and artist Kesha. Could you talk a bit about how this panel came to be?
Well, loneliness is a real problem in our world right now…It's a topic that we keep talking about in the team. And as a digital platform ourselves, we take that really seriously and we wanted to offer a space and perspectives from people like Alok, from people like Minaa or people like Kesha to first of all build an understanding of what loneliness is and also give really different views on how that interacts with the online world. How that manifests in people's personal experiences.
I think people like Kesha, for example. Her life is out there. How does she navigate that? And I felt that that combined with her authenticity and realness that she has protected through so many challenges in her life. She manifests this authentic existence and we felt it would be really important to show that and to show that [she’s] someone who is accessible because her profile is accessible. I think Alok speaks beautifully about the challenges of moving towards this authenticity and building communities. They speak a lot about safer spaces and they are a part of the Feeld universe in many ways. We have work together before and they really understand what we stand for. And Minaa brings in so much experience with the issues that everyday people face themselves. We felt like this mix with myself as the representative of a digital space could build a rich picture of the problem and offer some practices and perspectives on it.
“I think the idea of finding the one, getting kids together, getting married, getting a house and all that is a wonderful path. But it’s a path–It’s not everyone’s path. ”
It's amazing. It was such a beautiful talk, especially having Alok be from Texas, and then talk about the realities of being a trans individual. As you're trying to do, dating apps can connect people, but they can also contribute to this feeling of isolation to some degree. How does Feeld approach this paradox?
Our north star in the company, is to build meaningful connections for people…We use language really intentionally. We use design very intentionally to not accidentally let a person go down a path, right? Which is what a lot of digital platforms just do. And last but not least, we try to not gamify the visual experience of the product. So people are real and they can experience in their own time, at their own pace, how others have expressed themselves.
Ana Kirova and Camila Dejesus at SXSW.
That's really rare I feel in the dating world, especially when you're talking about gamifying. So many people just swipe and swipe and swipe and that's kind of like rewarding in and of itself without ever finding any connection. In general, why did you feel like there was such a need for open relationships through some space like that? Why did you want to create that?
I think the idea of finding the one, getting kids together, getting married, getting a house and all that is a wonderful path. But it's a path–It's not everyone's path. And I think so many people force themselves, contort themselves to have to fit into that. And they just think, oh, I guess life is just uncomfortable all the time. And it's just crappy all the time. Like what Alok was talking about, it's too many people in a closet. I think the closet takes many shapes. And I remember my discovery of different relationship structures that different people were practicing opened my mind about how I can connect to people. Why would I need one definition for the one partnership I have? What if I can show up and meet people as they are and be open to who they are and not try to fit them into a box? And it blew my mind that that didn't exist.
That's amazing. I know it’s hard to pick one, but right now, what is your favorite feature on the app that you're most proud of?
I think it is Constellation. It has to be Constellation. This is a feature that allows people to add up to five partners to their profile. And they can call them whatever they want. They can be their friends. If they're engaged to someone, if they're married, if they have a lover, if they have a partner. This was a feature built by our team with our community to understand what kind of definitions we need to offer people. It's an evolution of our original feature, which was the ability to add one partner.
So this is like, we're a group searching for more people?
Yes, or it could be someone is in an ethically non-monogamous relationship and they've added the X amount of people they're in a relationship with. Some people look for friends or community and they can add their friends and just link together and say, ‘we show up together’. There's so many configurations we can have with people. It's not just romantic.
That's so like diverse. That can mean anything for anyone.
Yes, it's your constellation of people.
Ana Kirova and Camila Dejesus at SXSW.
Oh, that's so beautiful. That's so smart. And then last question, what advice would you give to people, especially women and queer users, to navigate dating apps in a way that feels more empowering rather than exhausting?
I think the advice I would give for it to not be exhausting, is maybe first don't let it control you. I think with these flashy screens. It's so easy for all of us, like myself, I speak like I know how to navigate it. I don't. But they kind of eat your attention. My advice would be instead of giving your attention to the screen, give your attention to a person. So if you are using any dating app, whatever it is, look at that person and be interested in them rather than assessing them as like just a body or a face or some words. And take your time. Take your time. Nothing good in this world is, is, is has happened quickly.
Every good thing takes time. It takes time to bloom. It takes time for you to understand what you want from it. So I think very often dating can turn into a game of like, how many people can I meet, right? I need to find the best one, right? Find a person and see them and maybe show up without expectations…Trust your instinct. Don't do things just because someone told you to do them, you know best what's good for you. Oftentimes we think that someone knows better than us. They don't.
Thank you so much for talking with me, this was such an incredible conversation!
“My advice would be instead of giving your attention to the screen, give your attention to a person.”
To learn more about Feeld, you can click here. And make sure to follow Ana Kirova on Instagram to keep updated!
