I Didn't Like I Saw The TV Glow & That's Exactly Why It Matters

I saw I Saw The TV Glow at its premiere earlier this year in SXSW, seated near the front row, with the film's director Jane Schoenbrun mere feet from me, and I didn’t like it. Simply put, I didn’t relate to it. But that’s the whole point. It wasn’t for me. 

I Saw The TV Glow tells the story of Owen (brilliantly portrayed by Justice Smith), a child who quickly becomes obsessed with a children’s TV show, The Pink Opaque (think DCom, Lizzie McGuire, My Babysitters A Vampire energy), and more specifically the characters in it. As Owen ages, the show comes to a close and his best friend, who introduced him to The Pink Opaque, disappears right along with it. It’s a mystery of sorts, and Owen spends most of their teenage years unpacking what happened both in the show and to their friend. In short, this concept and even the execution are brilliant. 

See, unlike some people who may have confusingly walked into a theater or clicked on the film out of curiosity, I knew the film's core themes going into it. SXSW had little tags on each film so I knew it was LGBTQ+ and Horror. Two things I was very excited about. Having the director in front of us meant we were explained the concept before it even began, leaving no room for confusion or speculation. I Saw The TV Glow was heavily inspired by Schoenbrun’s own love of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, a point that, as a Buffy fan, the film absolutely nails. The show inside the film serves as a metaphor for an alternate dimension where Owen got to be who they truly are. To quote Owen, “What if I really was someone else? Very far away on the other side of the television screen.” 

I can’t even type that quote out without crying. 

Essentially the entire film serves as a metaphor for trans identity. And it is hauntingly done, hitting on notes of horror, disturbing imagery, and an ending that truly took my breath away. But still, I didn’t like it. For the very simple reason that those types of more artistic films, with whole breaks of song and more experimental endings, just aren’t for me. It isn’t my thing. I loved the entire premise, and those previously mentioned songs are incredible. So, while I think it was executed amazingly, the execution itself isn’t my cup of tea. I’m certain though, that if this had been an issue I related to more, I would have loved this film. It would mean something to me in the way that other films or forms of art do.

I remember walking out of the theater and thinking Wow, I didn’t like that film, and at the same time thinking thank God, there are people like Schoenbrun. Because I would have never thought to make a film like this, and people in this world need a film like this. Today my TikTok feed has been overwhelmed by trans people making edits of themselves before and after transitioning, stating things like “I finally Saw The TV Glow”. And it makes me cry. 

Three years ago I lost my friend to self-harm. They were trans. We grew up together, and looking back, there were signs. There were things they said, especially in our last conversations, that pointed to them struggling with something deeper. They got to experiment, the TV did glow for them. But, I don’t think they ever got to their final form. In terms of the film, they did unplug the TV. And as I left that theater, I wondered what their life would have been had this film existed when we were growing up. Would I still be mourning them, or would they be glowing right alongside it? 

Trans lives are so important. Trans stories are so important. This film has the power to impact and change lives, and I hope more soon follow in its footsteps. On a film level, it wasn’t for me. But it wasn’t meant to be. If you relate to any of the themes above I encourage you to watch the film, streaming on Max right now. 

And if you ever see the TV glow, please run to it. Bathe in the joy of becoming the person you were always meant to be. Life is too short to be anyone else.